I really don't like giving plasma.

I don't mind the time it takes. I don't mind being pricked with a needle (much.) I don't even mind being packed around dozens of people I don't know who stare at my hat.

What I mind is the cold.

They keep the place cold enough that even when it's warm outside, you have to wear a jacket in the building. Granted, I understand why. Germs and such. But when I'm shivering and my teeth are chattering like nuts, I can't help but mind. It doesn't help that the saline solution they inject to replace the plasma they took is also at minus bazillion degrees. And then it's not just cold outside. It's cold inside, where it worms its way through my fingers and up my arm and into my chest.

Today, I made the mistake of not eating before I got there (I was taking Val there for work and got up a little late,) so not only was I cold, but my stomach was churning and my lips tingling. You know the feeling before your fingers go to sleep, when you can feel blood running through them? I got that in my lips. Very disconcerting, but totally my own fault.

Ugh. Plasma. I will be very happy when I have a job and don't have to deal with that shit anymore. Quick Trip hasn't called me back yet, I'm antsy. On Tuesday, it'll have been two weeks since the interview. I don't really want to work there, but I need a job. Fast.

I'm thinking of putting an application in at the plasma clinic, but they'll hold my first paycheck so it'll be a month before I get paid and I won't be able to donate in the meantime. Michaels called Erin back for an interview on Monday, which is good. If she gets the job, I'll put in an application there since they're doing their summer hiring right now. Fuck, I hate not having a job.

There is nothing on his face when he smashes his fist into that bastard's face. He hears bone and cartilage crack and there a sudden warm wetness on his fingers but it doesn't matter because he's already bringing the other hand around to to catch that bastard under the jaw. Head snaps back and there's blood on his face now but he doesn't care because nothing matters. There's no sound and everything around them is so still, but he just keeps whaling on that bastard fast enough that there isn't a responding strike. He's so angry and all he can do is keep going on and on. That fat, arrogant bastard is slow and old and now bleeding and pained and suddenly he hears screaming. So he hits that bastard again and again until there no movement and he's alone.

He realizes as he stares at the body that it's cold. His hands are shaking. At least, he thinks that's why they're shaking. It might be because the body isn't moving at all. He doesn't think it's breathing anymore. He's a little scared because he isn't sorry. There's still screaming going on but when he looks, it's not from that bastard. The girl is in the corner and she's curled herself in a ball and she's screaming and pleading and she thinks he's going to hurt her. She thinks he'll take over where that bastard started but he knows he won't. Of course, he knows she won't listen to him, either, because she's too scared and she's crying too hard to understand him. There are marks on her skin that make him angry all over again but he can't let it show now. He can't leave her to cool off this time because last time he did, she ended up with that fat fuck who he's pretty sure is dead.

She's still crying and he doesn't think she even knows who he is right now because she's so scared. He doesn't touch her, figures she'll freak out even more if he does, so he just takes off his jacket and drops it over her. She screams and jolts and then cries harder and is still begging him not to hurt her, but she clings to the jacket because it's warm and smells human and it makes her feel like there's a little bit of a barrier between them. He knows he can't leave her like this, even though she's terrified, so he sits down and sets his hands on his knees and starts singing. He doesn't sing any one song because he can't remember them all the way through, so he ends up singing bits and pieces and it really doesn't make any sense at all but that's okay because he realizes after a long time that she's not screaming anymore. He can hear her gulping down bigger breaths than she can really handle and she's sniffling because her nose is running from the crying and he's pretty sure she's still shaking, but at least she's not screaming and she's not begging him not to hurt her. He'd never hurt her. So he just keeps singing and eventually, she joins in when she knows what the hell he's singing about or just hums when she doesn't know the words. Then she starts singing other things and he sings with her and they just sing and sing and sing.

He knows it shouldn't be funny, but he has the oddest urge to start laughing. There's a dead body on the floor behind him, blood on his face, and a girl in his coat that still won't let her near him. He saw that fat fuck throw her down before he went after the bastard, but he can't tell if she's hurt because she won't let him near her. He thinks it might be because of the blood, but he's too fucked over to really figure it through. But at least she's singing with him and he thinks that might be good enough.

The sun will be up soon. There isn't a clock, but he can see a sliver of purple-blue-gray sky out the window between tattered brown curtains. The sun will be up soon and he'll have to call the cops to pick up the bastard he beat to death. He doesn't want to think about that, so he sings and then sees that she's gone still. He gets near and she doesn't move, so he pulls his jacket back to make sure she's breathing. She is and he can't see anything but bruises. He doesn't want to pull up her shirt to make sure of it when she's not awake because it makes him feel dirty and slimy even though he just wants to help her. So he covers her with his coat and then goes to the bed and pulls off the blankets and patched comforter and throws them over her too. He wants to get the pillow for her, but then he'd have to lift her head and she might wake up. He doesn't want to wake her because she looks like she needs the rest. Or those are black eyes he didn't notice before. He isn't sure and it's really not his place. The sun is coming up. He can feel it starting to warm the air outside even though it's freezing in here with the dead body and the beat up girl.

He wants to stay until she wakes up. He wants her to know she's safe and most of all, he wants her to know that he's real and watching over her. That someone is real and watching over her. She thinks she's alone and she thinks that fat fuck is the only thing she's worth having and she thinks she should just shot herself in the head already because nothing ever gets better. And he hates that for her. He hates that he can't be there when she really needs it, when the sun is up and she has to realize she's living in the slums and getting fucked by bastards who don't give a damn about her. She thinks its her fault and God is punishing her, but he knows it's not. It's really not.

The fat fuck really is dead. He checks it as he fights off the pull from sunlight. He doesn't feel anything about it but he knows it'll cause problems for her when she wakes up and she's sober. She'll think she did it and she might even confess to doing it. The cops won't bother noticing that the fat fuck was beaten to death by a man that had to be much, much bigger than her. Maybe that's why he scared her? He's losing time. The sun is pulling and his back burns. He kneels down next to her and pushes sweat and who-knew-what-else dampened hair out of her face. She could be pretty if she were sober. She could be pretty if she smiled. She could be pretty if she stopped getting involved with fat fucks like that and found someone who could love her like he did. God, his back hurts so much and he feels like his body is being ripped apart, but he can't help it. He kisses her cheek and forehead and nose and he doesn't kiss her lips because she's scared of him and it would feel like forcing himself. He wants to. He knows he can never be with her like he wants to, can never protect her like he wants to, provide for her like he wants to, save her like he wants to, but that hope still burns inside of him even as stupid and pointless as it is.

He starts feeling some of the sun's warmth through the window. He knows it's time to go, but he has one last gift to give her. She can't hear it because she stopped listening to him a long time ago, but he tells her that he loves her and that he'll always be there for her. It hurts so much, but he stays as long as he can, staring at her sleeping face which is almost calm and serene. At least she's warm.

And then his wings burst out of his back and it hurts so badly because he waited so long. He knows he was suppose to leave right at dawn and the pain penetrates his entire being, but he knows its worth it. He's just sorry she has to call the cops herself. He fights even as he's ripped back into the other plane. It will take so long to heal again and she'll probably have another bastard beating her again, but he knows as soon as he has the energy to be solid again, he'll come back and he'll kill the men who keep hitting her and throw out her drugs and smash the bottles and he'll tell her he loves her.

He hopes some day she'll stop screaming when she sees her guardian angel. He hopes someday she might tell him she loves him too.

Okay. I decided I need to do some serious work on my comic and one of the easiest ways for me to do it is to have a deadline. So, I'm giving myself a week to do at least one piece through one year, but hopefully more like five or six pieces a year. So, at least 52 pieces in all, hopefully more. Some will be specific, such as character designs or clothing details, others will be free sketch. The image is due on Saturday of that week. If I do not complete the required picture in it's week, I must complete it and the next by the end of the next week. Every month, I'll link the pictures here on xanga so you guys can see if you don't follow me on Deviantart or Facebook.

The Schedule is as follows:

January - Due the 3rd, 10th, 17th, 24th, and 31st
Week 1: Character Design - Tani
Week 2: Monster Design - Ghouls (random)
Week 3: Story Boarding Practice - Random
Week 4: Building Design - Tani's house
Week 5: Free Art

February - Due 7th, 14th, 21st, and 28th
Week 6: Character Design - Sylvia
Week 7: Interaction Practice - Kissing
Week 8: Building Design - Sylvia's house
Week 9: Free Art

March - Due 7th, 14th, 21th, and 28th
Week 10: Character Design - Sade
Week 11: Monster Design - Ghouls (random)
Week 12: Building Design - Sade's apartment
Week 13: Free Art

April - Due 4th, 11th, 18th, and 25th
Week 14: Character Design - William and Nicolas
Week 15: Paneling Practice - Random Scene
Week 16: Character Design - Tani's Crew
Week 17: Fighting Practice - Street Fighting

May - Due 2nd, 9th, 16th, 23rd, and 30th
Week 18: Building Design - Tani's School
Week 19: Monster Design - Ghouls (Random)
Week 20: Interaction Practice - Tani and Sylvia
Week 21: Background Practice - Hollowheim City Scape
Week 22: Fighting Practice - Getting Hit/Hurt

June - Due 6th, 13th, 20th, and 27th
Week 23: Character Design - Prequel Crew
Week 24: Building Design - William's Gym
Week 25: Character Design - Sade's Crew
Week 26: Interaction Practice - Tani and Sylvia

July - Due 4th, 11th, 18th, and 25th
Week 27: Character Design - Tani's Grandparents
Week 28: Background Practice - Hollowheim Park
Week 29: Monster Design - Ghouls (Shin's)
Week 30: Interaction Practice - Sade's Crew

August - Due 1st, 8th, 15th, 22nd, and 29th
Week 31: Character Design - Sylvia's Family
Week 32: Fighting Practice - Shin and Tani sparring
Week 33: Background Practice - Hollowheim Mall
Week 34: Pose Practice - Sitting/Crouching
Week 35: Interaction Practice - Tani's Crew

September - Due 5th, 12th, 19th, and 26th
Week 36: Clothing Study - Tani
Week 37: Background Practice - Hollowheim Main Street
Week 38: Fighting Practice - Energy play
Week 39: Paneling Practice - Inner Thoughts

October - Due 3rd, 10th, 17th, 24th, and 31st
Week 40: Clothing Study - Sade
Week 41: Background Practice - School Halls
Week 42: Fighting Practice - Street Fighting
Week 43: Clothing Study - Sylvia
Week 44: Paneling Practice - Fight

November - Due 7th, 14th, 21st, and 28th
Week 45: Paneling Practice - Conversation
Week 46: Fighting Practice - Energy Play
Week 47: Clothing Study - Tani and Sade's Crews
Week 48: Background Practice - Random

December - Due 5th, 12th, 19th, and 26th
Week 49: Posing practice - Everyday Chores
Week 50: Fighting Practice - Street Fighting
Week 51: Background Practice - Random
Week 52: Congrats, you finished it! Free Art